Things That Disney Taught Me: Part One


I feel like I should give you all some warning. You're not going to be finding deep, meaningful insights into Disney films in this post. It's just not going to happen. I get fed up of all the talk of Disney being sexist and sending a bad message to young girls. That, in my honest opinion, is absolute rubbish. I grew up on Disney and I still watch the movies now and not once as a kid did I think women were weak, had nothing worthy to say or that they always needed saving from men. Sure, that's what some might see as an adult but that says more about you then it does about Disney.

As I have said, I grew up on Disney and I am fine. I don't think a makeover is going to change my life. I didn't fall in love with a guy who locked me in his house. I didn't run off and marry the first guy I saw. And I don't believe in Happily Ever After, The End. In my opinion, the world is shitty enough in reality to teach us all that Disney isn't real so I am not going to stop kids watching movies just because the Princess has an unobtainable waist size.

So, for all the shits & giggles and my love of Disney, I wanted to post some of the lessons Disney taught me. But, as I have said, don't be expecting deep and meaningful right now. You ain't going to get it.


Life Lessons:
It's okay to kiss a dead person...

Clearly Stephanie Meyer took inspiration from this movie when writing Twilight.

...apparently.


Watching someone sleep is totally okay.


And not at all creepy. 
If you can sneak a kiss in, even better!

I'm getting the sneaking suspicion that Stephanie Meyer took all her inspiration from Disney. 


Uncles are evil. 
They will kill your parents.

This is a lesson that all kids should learn early on. Watch your uncles like a hawk. They'll say they're just hugging your parents goodbye, they're secretly trying to crush them to death. You must always be ready to jump in and rescue your parents when it's needed. 


Never trust an Octopus with breasts.

I haven't since. Lesson learnt. 

 
Or maybe we should.

I mean, come on, Ursula knew her stuff. 


Bow & arrows are totally cool.

I rest my case.


Hunters are all big meanies!


Oh, wait!


Stepmothers are evil. 

This is why my father is never allowed to remarry. Ever.
I joke... maybe. 


Old people can't be trusted.

They don't actually need help crossing the road. This is just a trick to get you close to them. They will kidnap you and attempt to steal your youth. 


Marry a beast if it gets you your own library.

Oh don't worry Disney, I will! 

Hades rules!
Simple as. 


I can ride on a Golden Eagle... right?




Animals can talk.




Sometimes.
Never trust a man with a snake topped walking stick.


Case in point.


These are just a few of the many amazing and important life lessons that Disney has taught me. I've named this Part One as I am sure there will be more Disney life lessons that I will want to share with you soon. 


One chance to win a Kindle Fire HDX, to enter go here.

You can also enter my 1,000 Bloglovin followers giveaway below. For full details go here.






Signed, Skye Harper by Carol Lynch Williams: Review
Discussion: How Book Series Made Me Their Bitch
Top Ten Tuesday: Mind-Blowing Book Endings
Cinder by Marissa Meyer: Review
Films for Thoughts on Thursday: Godzilla 
Five Friday Favourites: Not-So-Favourite Popular Books
My Weekly Book Haul: 31/05/2014
Now & Forever by Susanne Colasanti: Review


at

50 comments:

  1. Anonymous2 June 2014 at 03:25

    Hahaha, aw! I love this post, Charnell! So much fun - I can't wait for part two one day. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Charnell @ Reviews from a Bookworm2 June 2014 at 20:41

      Part two will definitely be coming at some point! I adore doing Disney posts! :)

      Delete
  2. Bookmark Dragon2 June 2014 at 04:29

    OMG that Jafar/Lucius Malfoy comparison is cracking me up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Charnell @ Reviews from a Bookworm2 June 2014 at 21:00

      I was remembering how much I hated Jafar and the creepy staff and then I just realised Lucius Malfoy was the same. I laughed so much when I realised that myself.

      Delete
  3. CG @ Paper Fury2 June 2014 at 05:18

    DISNEY FTW. I agree too! I didn't grow up on Disney so much, but I defintely never felt demeaned by it...and the whole "women are weak in Disney" is just a very uneducated statement. Clearly the people haven't watched it. I mean, helloooo, EVERYONE (except maybe Ariel and Sleeping Beauty) were about living their dreams and not conforming to society, all the good stuff. x)
    Totally cracked up at the "Hunters are bad....eh, wait." THEY'RE NOT ALWAYS BAD. XD

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Charnell @ Reviews from a Bookworm2 June 2014 at 21:37

      I KNOW!!! It bugs me. I will give Disney all the love forever, I think it's amazing in every way. I will happily agree that it could do with being more diverse at times, but I don't think it's demeaning to women at all. I know, I was remembering how awful I felt when all those mothers were killed. But then I remembered Sam & Dean, clearly the most awesome hunters EVER!!! :)

      Delete
  4. Aly2 June 2014 at 06:48

    Hahahha the Stephenie Meyer/Dead Kiss thing is actually really perfect. I wish I could frame it. Actually this post is pretty perfect. People can't Disney bash around me too, it's, like, a rule...a law even ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Charnell @ Reviews from a Bookworm2 June 2014 at 23:23

      It's definitely like that with me too, you have to love the Disney or you've got to go! ;)

      Delete
  5. Shay(The Story Goes...)2 June 2014 at 07:43

    Haha, awesome post! And so so true =)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Unknown2 June 2014 at 10:54

    This is awesome! I want to marry a beast to get my own library too. :D

    "Never trust an octopus with breasts", haha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Charnell @ Reviews from a Bookworm2 June 2014 at 23:28

      You just can't beat the kind of life lessons that Disney teaches you. That one is clearly vital to life ;)

      Delete
  7. Kindlemom2 June 2014 at 14:31

    I love this. I grew up with Disney and so have my children. I see nothing wrong, sexist, harmful or whatever they are saying these days about any of the movies you have posted. I love them all and will continue to love them and watch them.

    Great post!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Charnell @ Reviews from a Bookworm2 June 2014 at 23:31

      Thank you! I didn't know if people would appreciate the general silliness of this post but I wasn't in a mood to take Disney so seriously ;)

      Delete
  8. yaescapefromreality2 June 2014 at 14:41

    Ok, this made me laugh…love it! ~Pam

    ReplyDelete
  9. Amanda Gray2 June 2014 at 16:06

    And you say you did this to procrastinate?! My god girl, if this is procrastinating, do it more, it was fantastic! I loved all the gifs and the humour, the sarcasm, reliving my childhood, it was all brilliant, oh god yes! Ursula and Hades are fab though, some of my favourites, and trust me, I took the whole Stepmother thing seriously when I was younger, wouldn't sit in a room with my at all, she was scary, but she's fab now ;) More Things Disney taught you girl, more! :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Charnell @ Reviews from a Bookworm2 June 2014 at 23:35

      Haha! Thank you. I was so worried nobody would get my silly and sarcastic take on Disney today but so glad you all did. I just wasn't in the mood to be really serious about it haha. Hades has to be one of my favourite Disney characters EVER!

      For my dad to remarry I guess he and my mum would need to divorce first but I don't know if they will. They're not together but I don't think they've ever seen a point to divorcing. Neither are dating or even looking, thank god. That would be so weird haha. My dad loves babies so I am scared he would have another kid at an old age and I'd be like mother age to my own brother or sister.

      I will definitely be doing more at some point, I had so much fun doing this. Cheered me right up! :)

      Delete
  10. Cayce2 June 2014 at 16:18

    Lol, this is hilarious! Thanks for the laugh :DD You should post something like this on every Monday.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Snapex2 June 2014 at 19:03

    'I'm getting the sneaking suspicion that Stephanie Meyer took all her inspiration from Disney.'

    'Never trust an Octopus with breasts.
    I haven't since. Lesson learnt. '

    'Hunters are all big meanies!'. SAMMY <3

    'Never trust a man with a snake topped walking stick.'LUCIUSSSSS <3

    Just some of the quotes I loved. I would also like to point out that this is why I love reading your blog, because you make me laugh :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Charnell @ Reviews from a Bookworm2 June 2014 at 23:38

      Awww, thank you! I was so worried that no one would get my silly, sarcastic Disney humour today. I wasn't in the mood to take it too seriously. I've seen so many wonderful posts about the actual life lessons you can learn from Disney but wanted to point out the more hilarious/pointless ones ;)

      Delete
    2. Snapex3 June 2014 at 08:13

      haha well you sure proved your point. Cant wait for the next one :p

      Delete
  12. Nina2 June 2014 at 19:28

    Lol! Hunters are meanies, except for Dean and Sam. Much love to Dean, seriously need to catch-up on season 9. Anyways, love your lessons! Actually stephmothers are evil is kind of true. Mine is. No, just kidding. Or am I? :)

    Can't wait for part two.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Charnell @ Reviews from a Bookworm3 June 2014 at 00:16

      I still need to finish season 8, so behind on Supernatural now it's pretty terrible! Haha, I bet I'd hate mine if I had one.

      Delete
  13. Anonymous2 June 2014 at 20:38

    Love this post! I'm such a Disney geek, I don't think you're ever too old for Disney.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous2 June 2014 at 23:12

    too funny :D

    ReplyDelete
  15. Charnell @ Reviews from a Bookworm2 June 2014 at 23:29

    Thank you! I'm glad people are appreciating the silly today :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Mara A.3 June 2014 at 00:52

    Gotta watch out for them uncles and stepmamas - most definitely gotta watch out for them. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Carrie @ Paper Bindings3 June 2014 at 03:20

    Oh, that is great. I love it! Now I am going to see Disney lessons everywhere.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Unknown3 June 2014 at 06:46

    These are brilliant! Have noted down the one about not trusting an octopus with breasts, good to know. I agree with you about not getting your knickers in a twist over the message the movies are sending - I also grew up on Disney movies, and not once has it occurred to me to sit in a turret waiting for a prince.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Charnell @ Reviews from a Bookworm3 June 2014 at 10:19

      I think it might just be one of the most vital and important Disney lesson, it's definitely something I'll be passing on to my children. People just love finding anything to moan about in my opinion.

      Delete
  19. 88dreamers3 June 2014 at 11:30

    I love it, especially the Stephanie Meyer inspirations!
    looking forward to part two!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Kay3 June 2014 at 20:16

    I am laughing so hard right now! Thank you for this amazingly entertaining post. :D

    ReplyDelete
  21. Unknown4 June 2014 at 15:35

    Okay, this post was AWESOME! I love Disney. I love everything about Disney. It's not supposed to be like the real world, and I have seen NOTHING wrong with the messages in the movies. They are supposed to be fun and lighthearted for entertainment and an escape from the sucky real world.

    I can't stop laughing... I love the giffs!! Thanks for the laughs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Charnell @ Reviews from a Bookworm5 June 2014 at 16:21

      I KNOW!!! I wish people would stop saying it, especially since I think it's what encouraged them to basically make all men look utterly useless in Maleficent. Was not a fan! Thank you, glad you liked it :)

      Delete
  22. Kritika10 June 2014 at 05:26

    This post is AMAZING! I loved the humor - never noticed Malfoy's dad had a snake-topped walking stick haha

    - Kritika @ Snowflakes & Spider Silk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Charnell @ Reviews from a Bookworm10 June 2014 at 22:48

      Haha, I never noticed the connection until I was thinking of the post and was thinking about Jafar.

      Delete
  23. Mel@Thedailyprophecy10 June 2014 at 20:38

    Hahaha, this was hilarious and so much fun to see. I'm a huge Disney lover. I grew up with the movies and I still watch them when I feel like it. You made me laugh out loud a couple of times, thanks! :D

    Mel@thedailyprophecy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Charnell @ Reviews from a Bookworm10 June 2014 at 22:49

      I'm glad you liked it, I thought most people would find it far too silly. I just wasn't in the mood to be super serious about Disney :)

      Delete
  24. Olivia's Catastrophe12 June 2014 at 20:42

    ooh I did a couple of posts like this with what Finding Nemo taught me and Sherlock as well xD Hades is so awesome... no one gets why I love Hercules so much! As for the ghecko thingie in Tangled... awesome. Well that was an amazing film in general.

    Agreed. Never trust an octopus with breasts.

    You had me laughing out loud with some of these!

    http://olivia-savannah.blogspot.nl/2014/06/city-of-heavenly-fire-book-review.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Charnell @ Reviews from a Bookworm12 June 2014 at 22:52

      I saw that, I think I commented laughing about the fact I had this one scheduled. Your post was kind of amazing as you found actual serious lessons that could be learnt from it. How can they not understand a love of Hercules, that's one of my all time favourite Disney films - it's HILARIOUS!

      Thank you :) :) :)

      Delete
  25. Star3 July 2014 at 18:37

    This was so great!!! There was also a really funny image about this... a Jenna Marbles did a video on this topic! All hilarious. Makes you think about how idealistic Disney is. Thanks for sharing! I had a good laugh today.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Charnell @ Reviews from a Bookworm4 July 2014 at 11:55

      Haha, thanks! I just love Disney, I find all the serious discussions on it really hilarious.

      Delete
  26. Gina @ A Girl's Reading Fairyland24 September 2014 at 09:33

    Omg hahaha (sorry to be posting on your old post) but this is hilarious :p I love the reference to Twilight (dead kiss haha)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Charnell @ Reviews from a Bookworm9 October 2014 at 19:43

      Haha! That's fine, it's nice to know they still get seen! :) I had so much fun doing this, plan to do another one soon.

      Delete

Thank you so much for taking the time to comment, it always makes my day! Because of time restraints, this is now an award free zone but thanks so much for considering me! Feel free to leave a link to your own blog and I will come visit.