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That's right people, I have actually watched the Fifty Shades of Grey movie. Now this is a big deal. I consider this a big deal because I have read the books and I absolutely hated them. They were so poorly written that they were actually painful to get through. Not to mention that it started as Twilight fanfiction means it has far too many similarities to it, and it also has one of the most useless and unlikeable lead characters of all time. When I heard the movie was coming out I had absolutely 0 interest in seeing it. None at all. There was no way I was going to pay to sit in a cinema and watch that movie. So what changed? Well there were two things...
1. Christina's review where she basically laughed the whole way through, whilst still admitting it was enjoyable to watch. She got me so intrigued and made me actually consider seeing it. &
2. I didn't have to go to the cinema to see it.
So.... How was it?
It's actually surprising me that I can write the following sentence.
FIFTY SHADES WASN'T THE WORST MOVIE OF ALL TIME!!!
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| Shocking, I know! |
Now I am going to warn you that this is probably going to be a long post. That's because it's not only a review, but also a discussion. I have a few issues that I have with things that are being said about this movie and I really want to address them. But I also want your opinions on them. So get ready, one long ass review/discussion is about to go down right now.
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| Would I recommend it?!? |
I'm going to do something I don't usually do with my reviews, I'm going to start straight away with whether or not I would recommend this movie or not. The honest answer is that it is going to entirely depend on you as an individual. If you have zero interest in seeing this film then I'd suggest skipping it. If you're kind of curious like I was then I'd probably say give it a try, but wait for the DVD or when you can stream from the comfort of your own home. And if you're one of those people who were desperate to see it, then I'm certain you already have and can tell me what you thought in the comments below. Movies are just like books in the way that they split opinions, some will loath it, some will love it and many people will fall somewhere between the two. I'm a faller, it wasn't amazing but I've seen way worse movies in my life.
It's rather shocking to me that I didn't absolutely hate this movie, I was so convinced that I was going to hate it. But then I didn't! It's not a cinematic masterpiece and it's not something I'd probably rush to watch again, but I was suitably entertained. I actually laughed at this movie and only cringed a couple of times. I feel like my
ridiculously low expectations might have had something to do with this. It's hard for a movie to ever be as bad as I was imagining this movie would be. I think going in with the lowest of expectations is probably the best way to go into this movie because then it's only up from there.
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| "Anal fisting... cross that out!" |
Dakota Johnson was most definitely my favourite thing in this movie and probably the reason why I didn't end up hating this. She is
HILARIOUS! Seriously, she brings all the much needed humour to this movie that I needed. I hated Ana in the books, she was just so incredibly useless and wound me up so much. Dakota makes her a likeable character. It probably helps that she doesn't say
Oh my god! every five seconds or talk constantly about her 'inner goddess' like she does in the book. I laughed so much at her character in this movie, something that I was not expecting at all. My favourite scene would probably have to be during her 'business meeting' with Christian, where they are discussing the terms of the contract. It's not every day that an actress will have me in fits of giggles whilst she discusses fisting.
Ana shows a lot of growth over the course of this movie. She's a huge pushover in the beginning and continues that way for most of the movie. And people seem to have a weird habit of stealing her food. I literally have no idea how she handles that. There's literally a scene where she makes a sandwich, after asking her friend if she wanted one and her saying no, for her friend to then come and take the sandwich. And she says NOTHING! What's wrong with her? I would have a total Joey moment and have to be like '
Bitch, seriously put down my sandwich or I will hurt you!'.
It's only fair to give my take on Jamie Dornan as Christian Grey, and I admit that I fall into the category of people that don't really
get it. I didn't find the character at all attractive or sexy in the book and I still don't when it comes to the movie. It doesn't help that Jamie Dornan is very wooden in this movie, and not the kind of wooden that Christian Grey spends most of the book being. I was also put off by his weird accent, which I'm still not sure what it was supposed to be. He's an Irish actor so I think it just sounds weird because he hasn't managed to perfect an American accent yet. It just sounds like he's in pain every time he talks.
I felt that the movie plays out a lot more light and fluffy in comparison to the book. Well, as light and fluffy as a movie with a red room of pain can possibly get. It's main problem is that there really isn't much of a plot, it's just all about Christian and Ana trying to make the relationship work. But that is rather dull and boring and doesn't really work to keep you interested. This is why I recommended watching it from the comfort of your own home if you do want to watch it. It means during the slower, duller parts that you can keep yourself amused with something else. If I'd paid to see this in the cinema then I would probably have been a lot more annoyed with this film, constantly checking the time to see how much more of it I had to endure.
When you're reading the book and watching the movie it is very clear that this started as Twilight fanfiction. You can easily see which Fifty Shades character is based on which Twilight character. From Anastasia's insistence of 'it's just Ana', to her ridiculous clumsiness that see's her literally fall into Christians office. Then we have Christian, the broody guy who is always insisting that Ana should stay away from him because he's no good for her! But that one thing that this has in common with the Twilight films that is actually a good thing is the fact it has a really good soundtrack. It's probably my second favourite thing about this movie, after Dakota Johnson's hilarious turn as Ana.
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| The sex scenes? I've seen worse on GoT |
I can't review Fifty Shades without talking about the sex, this is something that has to happen. I have to admit to feeling really bad for any fans of the book going in to see this movie, they must have been quite disappointed. You probably see more graphic sex scenes in a fifty minute episode of Game of Thrones than you do in this 2 hour long film. It's very light on the sex, and what sex there is is
very tame compared to what you see in the books. And it's all very tastefully done and pretty tame for a film that's supposed to be exploring a dom/sub relationship.
Not only will you laugh at the intentionally funny lines that come out of Anas mouth, you'll also be laughing at all the total cringe worthy moments and cheesy moments. From scenes where Ana leaves a meeting with Christian and seems to basically orgasm in the rain to the fact that you'll lose count of how many times Ana bites her lip. You might be like me and get rather bored by the 1hr 10min mark, but at least you'll find yourself laughing quite a bit at just how ridiculous the movie is.
But now is the part where I get to the issue that I really feel I need to discuss when it comes to this movie. I am part of a Colleen Hoover group on Facebook - because CH is an auto-buy author for me and I love her - and I'd seen so many people talking about all the crap they were getting for wanting to see this film. Now not just in a
'Oh my god, why would you want to watch that trash?' kind of way, which was kind of how I was judging most people who were willing to pay to go see it in the cinema. Nope, they were getting actual
threatening emails and messages from people, they were being told that they were supporting rape and domestic violence by going to see this movie. SERIOUSLY?!? Are you kidding me? I can sum up my feelings for this with one gif:
I think this may actually be one of the stupidest things that I have ever heard people say before, and that's saying a lot. These comments and emails were coming from people who hadn't even seen the movie. Some of them might not have even read the books. And whilst I feel they have the right to say that in terms of the vomit inducing books and the stuff I had to read in those, I really feel they shouldn't be saying that without seeing the movie first. I have seen the film and can tell you that that's one of the most insulting things I have ever heard. Not for this movie, which deserves all the luke warm reviews it's getting, but for people who have actually been victims of rape. The movie portrays a consensual sexual relationship between two people, so how can someone ever actually try to compare that to someone being raped. The two are vastly different things!
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| To anyone comparing it to rape. |
And this is really where I wanted to ask you guys where you stood on this whole thing. Have you seen the movie and did you think it was the same as rape? I'm going to go into a little more detail here because in my first draft I really didn't. Sorry, but it was 2am by the time I finished, I needed sleep and was knackered. Would your judgements on the movie and anyone seeing it be based solely on the books? Or what you've heard/read about them? I am not saying that the relationship that Ana and Christian have in this film is normal or healthy. It isn't/ Christian is not wrong when he says that he's a fucked up individual, he really is. But the relationship in the movie is
always consensual. CONSENSUAL! So, please, for the love of all that is holy, do not try comparing it to rape and telling people who want to see it that they support rape. That's a rather twisted thing to say to someone and not true in terms of the film. The way the sub/dom relationship is portrayed in the movie is still not entirely accurate of a BDSM relationship, but it's a hell of a lot closer than the book. I used to work with a guy who would only have those types of relationships, but he would be the sub whilst the women in his life were always the dom. Now he'd talk to a lot of us about it and the things he liked being done to him will never seem normal to me. But they were to him and he enjoyed it. That's his prerogative and it's not up to me to tell someone how they should be conducting their relationship. If you get off on someone spanking you till you bleed then go for it, I'll never understand the appeal myself but such is life. That's not to say that movie Christian Grey isn't still a creepy stalker because he so is. Their relationships is not normal or healthy and I'm still 110% certain Ana is insane for even wanting to be in a relationship with him. But I'm also 110% sure that Christian is not a rapist - well, at least as far as the movies concerned. Book Christian was a total rapist... just to be clear on that point.
4/10 Butterflies
Like I have said already, this wasn't the worst movie that I have ever seen but it most definitely wasn't the best. I'm not even sure it could be described as good. But I was suitably entertained and think they did a great job when you consider the source material. I absolutely loved Johnson as Ana, she brought much needed humour to the story as well as finally given Ana a back bone and the ability to stick up for herself. She was a much stronger character in the film than she ever was in the movie. Sam Taylor-Johnson definitely brings a lot to this film, which is why it disappoints me that she won't be doing the sequel. But, in all honesty, her talent is kind of wasted on this kind of movie. This isn't a movie that I would ever recommend to someone, but if you want to see it then by all means do. I was suitably entertained and it has me thinking that I will now actually see the sequel. Partly out of curiosity to see if they continue making the changes or start to follow the book a lot more. I HOPE NOT! I really wanted to hate this movie as much as I hated the book, but I just couldn't. They made big changes and made sure that consent was something that was emphasised, something that never was in the books.
3. Katniss and Peeta
4. Finnick Odair
6. Cadence
7. Lyra Belacqua & Pantalaimon
8. Roar
9. Sephy and Callie Rose
