Monday, 2 June 2014

Things That Disney Taught Me: Part One


I feel like I should give you all some warning. You're not going to be finding deep, meaningful insights into Disney films in this post. It's just not going to happen. I get fed up of all the talk of Disney being sexist and sending a bad message to young girls. That, in my honest opinion, is absolute rubbish. I grew up on Disney and I still watch the movies now and not once as a kid did I think women were weak, had nothing worthy to say or that they always needed saving from men. Sure, that's what some might see as an adult but that says more about you then it does about Disney.

As I have said, I grew up on Disney and I am fine. I don't think a makeover is going to change my life. I didn't fall in love with a guy who locked me in his house. I didn't run off and marry the first guy I saw. And I don't believe in Happily Ever After, The End. In my opinion, the world is shitty enough in reality to teach us all that Disney isn't real so I am not going to stop kids watching movies just because the Princess has an unobtainable waist size.

So, for all the shits & giggles and my love of Disney, I wanted to post some of the lessons Disney taught me. But, as I have said, don't be expecting deep and meaningful right now. You ain't going to get it.


Life Lessons:
It's okay to kiss a dead person...

Clearly Stephanie Meyer took inspiration from this movie when writing Twilight.

...apparently.


Watching someone sleep is totally okay.


And not at all creepy. 
If you can sneak a kiss in, even better!

I'm getting the sneaking suspicion that Stephanie Meyer took all her inspiration from Disney. 


Uncles are evil. 
They will kill your parents.

This is a lesson that all kids should learn early on. Watch your uncles like a hawk. They'll say they're just hugging your parents goodbye, they're secretly trying to crush them to death. You must always be ready to jump in and rescue your parents when it's needed. 


Never trust an Octopus with breasts.

I haven't since. Lesson learnt. 

 
Or maybe we should.

I mean, come on, Ursula knew her stuff. 


Bow & arrows are totally cool.

I rest my case.


Hunters are all big meanies!


Oh, wait!


Stepmothers are evil. 

This is why my father is never allowed to remarry. Ever.
I joke... maybe. 


Old people can't be trusted.

They don't actually need help crossing the road. This is just a trick to get you close to them. They will kidnap you and attempt to steal your youth. 


Marry a beast if it gets you your own library.

Oh don't worry Disney, I will! 

Hades rules!
Simple as. 


I can ride on a Golden Eagle... right?




Animals can talk.




Sometimes.


Never trust a man with a snake topped walking stick.


Case in point.


These are just a few of the many amazing and important life lessons that Disney has taught me. I've named this Part One as I am sure there will be more Disney life lessons that I will want to share with you soon. 


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Signed, Skye Harper by Carol Lynch Williams: Review
Discussion: How Book Series Made Me Their Bitch
Top Ten Tuesday: Mind-Blowing Book Endings
Cinder by Marissa Meyer: Review
Films for Thoughts on Thursday: Godzilla 
Five Friday Favourites: Not-So-Favourite Popular Books
My Weekly Book Haul: 31/05/2014
Now & Forever by Susanne Colasanti: Review


53 comments:

  1. Hahaha, aw! I love this post, Charnell! So much fun - I can't wait for part two one day. :)

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    1. Part two will definitely be coming at some point! I adore doing Disney posts! :)

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  2. OMG that Jafar/Lucius Malfoy comparison is cracking me up.

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    1. I was remembering how much I hated Jafar and the creepy staff and then I just realised Lucius Malfoy was the same. I laughed so much when I realised that myself.

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  3. DISNEY FTW. I agree too! I didn't grow up on Disney so much, but I defintely never felt demeaned by it...and the whole "women are weak in Disney" is just a very uneducated statement. Clearly the people haven't watched it. I mean, helloooo, EVERYONE (except maybe Ariel and Sleeping Beauty) were about living their dreams and not conforming to society, all the good stuff. x)
    Totally cracked up at the "Hunters are bad....eh, wait." THEY'RE NOT ALWAYS BAD. XD

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    1. I KNOW!!! It bugs me. I will give Disney all the love forever, I think it's amazing in every way. I will happily agree that it could do with being more diverse at times, but I don't think it's demeaning to women at all. I know, I was remembering how awful I felt when all those mothers were killed. But then I remembered Sam & Dean, clearly the most awesome hunters EVER!!! :)

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  4. Hahahha the Stephenie Meyer/Dead Kiss thing is actually really perfect. I wish I could frame it. Actually this post is pretty perfect. People can't Disney bash around me too, it's, like, a rule...a law even ;)

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    1. It's definitely like that with me too, you have to love the Disney or you've got to go! ;)

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  5. Haha, awesome post! And so so true =)

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  6. This is awesome! I want to marry a beast to get my own library too. :D

    "Never trust an octopus with breasts", haha.

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    1. You just can't beat the kind of life lessons that Disney teaches you. That one is clearly vital to life ;)

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  7. Hahaha I love it. Definitely eagerly awaiting part two :)

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    1. Thank you! I'm glad people are appreciating the silly today :)

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  8. I love this. I grew up with Disney and so have my children. I see nothing wrong, sexist, harmful or whatever they are saying these days about any of the movies you have posted. I love them all and will continue to love them and watch them.

    Great post!!

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    1. Thank you! I didn't know if people would appreciate the general silliness of this post but I wasn't in a mood to take Disney so seriously ;)

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  9. Ok, this made me laugh…love it! ~Pam

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  10. And you say you did this to procrastinate?! My god girl, if this is procrastinating, do it more, it was fantastic! I loved all the gifs and the humour, the sarcasm, reliving my childhood, it was all brilliant, oh god yes! Ursula and Hades are fab though, some of my favourites, and trust me, I took the whole Stepmother thing seriously when I was younger, wouldn't sit in a room with my at all, she was scary, but she's fab now ;) More Things Disney taught you girl, more! :D

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    1. Haha! Thank you. I was so worried nobody would get my silly and sarcastic take on Disney today but so glad you all did. I just wasn't in the mood to be really serious about it haha. Hades has to be one of my favourite Disney characters EVER!

      For my dad to remarry I guess he and my mum would need to divorce first but I don't know if they will. They're not together but I don't think they've ever seen a point to divorcing. Neither are dating or even looking, thank god. That would be so weird haha. My dad loves babies so I am scared he would have another kid at an old age and I'd be like mother age to my own brother or sister.

      I will definitely be doing more at some point, I had so much fun doing this. Cheered me right up! :)

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  11. Lol, this is hilarious! Thanks for the laugh :DD You should post something like this on every Monday.

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    1. Haha, it was definitely a lot of fun to write! :)

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  12. 'I'm getting the sneaking suspicion that Stephanie Meyer took all her inspiration from Disney.'

    'Never trust an Octopus with breasts.
    I haven't since. Lesson learnt. '

    'Hunters are all big meanies!'. SAMMY <3

    'Never trust a man with a snake topped walking stick.'LUCIUSSSSS <3

    Just some of the quotes I loved. I would also like to point out that this is why I love reading your blog, because you make me laugh :)

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    1. Awww, thank you! I was so worried that no one would get my silly, sarcastic Disney humour today. I wasn't in the mood to take it too seriously. I've seen so many wonderful posts about the actual life lessons you can learn from Disney but wanted to point out the more hilarious/pointless ones ;)

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    2. haha well you sure proved your point. Cant wait for the next one :p

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  13. Lol! Hunters are meanies, except for Dean and Sam. Much love to Dean, seriously need to catch-up on season 9. Anyways, love your lessons! Actually stephmothers are evil is kind of true. Mine is. No, just kidding. Or am I? :)

    Can't wait for part two.

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    1. I still need to finish season 8, so behind on Supernatural now it's pretty terrible! Haha, I bet I'd hate mine if I had one.

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  14. Love this post! I'm such a Disney geek, I don't think you're ever too old for Disney.

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  15. Gotta watch out for them uncles and stepmamas - most definitely gotta watch out for them. ;)

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    1. Oh yes, some of the more vital Disney lessons ;)

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  16. Oh, that is great. I love it! Now I am going to see Disney lessons everywhere.

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  17. These are brilliant! Have noted down the one about not trusting an octopus with breasts, good to know. I agree with you about not getting your knickers in a twist over the message the movies are sending - I also grew up on Disney movies, and not once has it occurred to me to sit in a turret waiting for a prince.

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    1. I think it might just be one of the most vital and important Disney lesson, it's definitely something I'll be passing on to my children. People just love finding anything to moan about in my opinion.

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  18. I love it, especially the Stephanie Meyer inspirations!
    looking forward to part two!

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  19. I am laughing so hard right now! Thank you for this amazingly entertaining post. :D

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  20. Okay, this post was AWESOME! I love Disney. I love everything about Disney. It's not supposed to be like the real world, and I have seen NOTHING wrong with the messages in the movies. They are supposed to be fun and lighthearted for entertainment and an escape from the sucky real world.

    I can't stop laughing... I love the giffs!! Thanks for the laughs.

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    1. I KNOW!!! I wish people would stop saying it, especially since I think it's what encouraged them to basically make all men look utterly useless in Maleficent. Was not a fan! Thank you, glad you liked it :)

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  21. This post is AMAZING! I loved the humor - never noticed Malfoy's dad had a snake-topped walking stick haha

    - Kritika @ Snowflakes & Spider Silk

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    1. Haha, I never noticed the connection until I was thinking of the post and was thinking about Jafar.

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  22. Hahaha, this was hilarious and so much fun to see. I'm a huge Disney lover. I grew up with the movies and I still watch them when I feel like it. You made me laugh out loud a couple of times, thanks! :D

    Mel@thedailyprophecy

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    1. I'm glad you liked it, I thought most people would find it far too silly. I just wasn't in the mood to be super serious about Disney :)

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  23. ooh I did a couple of posts like this with what Finding Nemo taught me and Sherlock as well xD Hades is so awesome... no one gets why I love Hercules so much! As for the ghecko thingie in Tangled... awesome. Well that was an amazing film in general.

    Agreed. Never trust an octopus with breasts.

    You had me laughing out loud with some of these!

    http://olivia-savannah.blogspot.nl/2014/06/city-of-heavenly-fire-book-review.html

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    1. I saw that, I think I commented laughing about the fact I had this one scheduled. Your post was kind of amazing as you found actual serious lessons that could be learnt from it. How can they not understand a love of Hercules, that's one of my all time favourite Disney films - it's HILARIOUS!

      Thank you :) :) :)

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  24. This was so great!!! There was also a really funny image about this... a Jenna Marbles did a video on this topic! All hilarious. Makes you think about how idealistic Disney is. Thanks for sharing! I had a good laugh today.

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    1. Haha, thanks! I just love Disney, I find all the serious discussions on it really hilarious.

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  25. Omg hahaha (sorry to be posting on your old post) but this is hilarious :p I love the reference to Twilight (dead kiss haha)

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    1. Haha! That's fine, it's nice to know they still get seen! :) I had so much fun doing this, plan to do another one soon.

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